MPD/DID - Education: Please Know This About MPD/DID & SI

Please Know This about Multiple Personality Disorder and Self-Injury

What I would like for people to know about about Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD):

MPD is a *real* disorder. It is not a new fad in psychology. It is not a new diagnosis. It it not simply a sign that someone has a bad or crooked therapist.

MPD is not a mental deficiency. MPD is dissociation. It does not mean we are stupid people. It does mean that we are different. Sometimes we see things completey different because our perceptions have changed. Sometimes we have a hard time understanding (or remembering in) linear time.

What does it mean if someone you love tells you that they have MPD? It means they trust you. It means they want you to be in a part of their life that they don't share with many people. Other than that, you're loved one will still be pretty much the same. They may appear to change drastically, but some of that is you see the reasons behind their odd behavior, and some of it will be because they trust you enough to show you more of the stuff that is really happening inside of them.

Keep in mind that your loved one is taking a huge risk when they tell you about the MPD. They have most likely had other people desert them in their life due to hearing the diagnosis and not being able to cope. They haven't "lied" to you by not telling you, they have been protecting themselves and making sure that your relationship is strong enough to withstand the shock of learning about the MPD.

Take some time to learn about MPD. But don't think that just because you read a book or took a psychology class that you know more about the disorder than your loved one does. No one likes to have a problem and deal with it every single day, and then have someone read a book and decide they know more about their life and what is going on. It is as annoying as breaking both of your legs and having a friend complain because they broke a fingernail. Be aware, be knowledgable, be supportive. But do not try to be an expert. You can't learn enough clinical mumbo-jumbo in the world to make your loved one "better" or "ok again."

What I would like for people to know about Self-Injury (SI):

I would like for people to understand that SI is *not* about "just trying to get attention." What I mean is, some people think that SI is just about being a brat. About trying to be "in the spotlight."

SI *is* about hurting. SI *is* about needing help. SI is often done to avoid/end pain that can not be dealt with. It is a way of coping. It is a way of replacing psychological/uncontrolable pain with physical/controlable pain.

What should you do if you see someone with signs of SI? Be patient. Try to understand that the SI isn't the problem. The problem, the thing to be "attacked" is what is CAUSING the pain that the person is having to deal with via SI.

Offer them understanding. Offer them an ear. Offer them a shoulder to cry on. Offer them assistance in getting the help they need to deal with the problem effectively.

DO NOT preach to them how awful and disgusting cuting/burning/etc is. DO NOT tell them the scars are ugly in an effort to shame them into stopping SI. DO NOT try to scare them into stopping by telling them the medical dangers of SI.

They already know all the "bad" stuff you can say to them. They already feel enough shame and guilt. You DO NOT need to add to that.

They do, however, need support, compassion, and understanding.